Thursday, March 28, 2013

Weight Watchers: Retrospective

Today was my meeting day for Weight Watchers. I weighed in (down 0.8 lbs from last week!) and went in and met. I think I've finally found my right meeting. Maybe. No meeting has especially resounded with me. I've gone to different locations, different leaders, different days. So far, this Thursday noon meeting is the best of them. But I wish that I could find a meeting that was convenient to work and was full of mostly professional young women. I tend to be in meetings with older women and/or moms. And it just doesn't resound as much.

My journey with Weight Watchers started as a child. My mom followed it and eventually became a leader and lifetime member. So I've always had the cookbooks around. I've always been able to look through the material and learn the tools. And for a long time, I didn't want to participate. I was good. I could deal with my weight in my own way.

Running a lot.

That's what I did in college when I had gained weight. I ran. I ran. I ran. I also danced. But I went running at 11:45 pm for an hour at a time quite a bit. It was my thing. In grad school, I found the magic of the erg machine. A full body cardio workout, indoors. I still kindof want to get one for myself, but that will have to wait until there's room and I have time for it. I would watch what I consumed a bit, but not a lot. My budget restrictions took care of that, for the most part. When you can only afford to go out to eat once or twice a month, you tend to eat much more simply. I ate a lot of eggs and oatmeal for YEARS.

And then the past few years happened. I've been doing well at work. I've become financially independent. I've come into my own and I've found a group of really great people who share my likes, dislikes, and fandoms. And beer. Let's face it, I've become much more of a beer drinker than a wine or spirits drinker since I moved to my house. I've become more stressed and am juggling more balls.

In late July, as I was dyeing yarn for a big shipment, I broke down. I had just weighed myself and I rang in at 170 lbs. It was a number that I had never, ever seen before. And I cried. Alone, in my kitchen, at 1 or 2 am, I cried. Because my struggle had been happening for longer, but I had ignored it for a while. I was too busy to care and too busy to take care of myself. And I made a decision right then and there. I signed up for Weight Watchers Online. And the first two weeks were amazing. I dropped weight like it was my job. I had some bumps, but I dropped 12 lbs in 6 weeks.

And then I fell in love.



And we went on dates, and had date nights at home, and we indulged, and we fell further in love. And we still are and it's still wonderful.

After 3 weeks, I stopped tracking.

But during this time, I rarely tracked. I would try, every so often, to get back in the habit, but then an event would happen, or I would travel, or we'd have a date night. And I just didn't want to. I didn't want to have to care about what I was putting in my body and how little I was moving.

And I mounted up quickly. I gained about 25 pounds. In 5 months.

And so I began the journey again.

Sometimes, I miss coming home, ordering pizza, and spending the night watching reruns. But I've been making steady progress. I'm gaining muscle. I'm gaining health. And while sometimes, my goals seem unattainable, I know that it will just take a lot of work, and dedication.

It will probably take another 5 months to reach my goals. It may take longer. But I'm going to stick with it. Because I deserve to love my body. I deserve to be as healthy as I can be.

I don't regret the blissful indulgence of falling in love. Because love is what drives me to love myself even more.

And this was going to be a post about the weight watchers tools and how they look and what they track. I decided to see if my activity from earlier this year was in there, and the image is what inspired this post.

~Katie

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