Again, and Again, and Again, and Again, and Again!

Workout update: I did Upper Fix last night and went for a walk with James, hung out with friends, and went grocery shopping.

Recently, I downloaded the Timehop App. I have been active on social media for a while now and so my feed is pretty filled out for the past 5 years. I must say that some of it is rather eye-opening. I'm in a better place, emotionally, than I have been for a very very long time. I'm much more even-keeled since meeting James. My completely out-of-control years are behind me, and I'm glad I'm no longer in that place.

And as much as things change, my tweets from 5 years ago could be tweeted today.

I was working on a personal project to #shapeupmylife. I was working out, budgeting, and cleaning & organizing my apartment.

I was unhappy with my weight and appearance, my spending habits, and my inability to keep a clean home. 5 years later, and I'm still working on those things. So maybe not "still", I'm again working on those things because I let myself go over the intervening 5 years and the emotional roller-coaster I was on didn't help things at all.

This was what I looked like 5 years ago today.

I only wish that I could fit into those pants! I miss those shoes!

And at that point in time, I didn't like myself. I was trying to lose weight. I was trying to love myself more. I was trying to change myself and be a clean, organized person.

So really, trying to do the same thing I'm doing now.

As much as things change, they stay the same.

I could think of it as failure. I could see this and say that I didn't achieve my goals 5 years ago, as evidenced by what I'm still trying to do now. I could rail against how much I've let my physical self go, and that I still struggle with keeping a clean and organized home.

But what I've come to realize is that I would be so much worse off right now if I didn't have the drive to improve myself and my living situation. I'm better mentally now than I was then in many aspects. I continue to work on improving my health. Where would I be if I just gave up? What would have happened if I just let myself continue to spiral out of control?

So I'm happy with repeating history, especially when that history is working on taking control of my life and treating myself with the love and respect I deserve.

~Katie