Apparently

Restricting my diet plus working out has been leading to me wanting to go overboard on the weekends. To just not count, not feel guilt at every bite. Not think about what the choices I'm making are. For just a day, or two.

Add that restlessness & PMS, period, and cold weather, and you get COMFORT FOOD KATIE.

I was bad this weekend.

I tried halfheartedly to make better food choices.
Saturday, I chose a grilled chicken salad. And 3 beers. And then some tater tots. And then margaritas & smorgasbord snacking.
Sunday, I did my workout, then walked to lunch, and had a Bloody Mary, and a beer, and pulled pork eggs Benedict. And then had a couple beers. Then had fish & lentils & cauliflower & wine at dinner. Along with a few tastes of truffled Mac & Cheese.

All in all, I made 1 better choice each day. The rest were the Katie that was steadily growing. Some was environmental. Working a pub crawl & going to a party. Some were hormonal. Starting my period & wanting comfort food & to just curl up in a warm bath.

And I only halfheartedly tracked.

So this week, I have to watch it. I must plan. I must also stick to my plan.

So no, I did not make progress this weekend. I'm reticent to enter the weight I saw on the scale this morning. But I'm trying to keep it real. These are struggles. But this is not the end. I have goals. Small ones and big ones. I know that I want to lead a healthier life. I know that I want to support a healthier body. I want to get stronger & I want to drive on. So I will.

I will not take this as a failure in full. I will take it as a learning point. I need to make some lower points value comfort foods this week. I need to let myself feel like I'm indulging, but plan it out more so that I don't start the bad habit of not counting on the weekends.

What are your pitfalls that you struggle with?

~Katie


PS. I did go back and track the numbers. Though I didn't track which beers I had, so I am still a bit on the low side for those points. I did try to be as honest about my serving sizes as I can recall, and I didn't use ALL of my weekly points this weekend.

I did make a number of decisions that I wouldn't have made 4 months ago.
Water between almost all of the beers. Eschewing the bacon & olives on the salad. Choosing the fish rather than the mac&cheese & pizza.

So I'm learning. I'm adapting. And I walked to lunch today. And ate what I'd looked up online before to be 7 points, only. I have oranges & almonds on hand at the office so I don't arrive home STARVING tonight.

I'll get my cardio workout in and then go for a walk with James & Riley. So I have plenty of activity planned this evening.

Changes, All the Little Changes

Before I get to the actual post, today, I slept in. So my workout will be between work and girls night. It will be Push Circuit 2, so it's 35 minutes and weightlifting-focused, so I think I can do that, shower, and walk to the restaurant in time after work today. The front room rearranging has taken a toll on my bedtime.

Okay, on to the Changes.

I've been documenting the daily stuff on here, but sometimes, I like to make a retrospective.

Today, I realized that there are a lot of little changes that have been adding in to the big changes.
And some of them aren't so little. But all of these changes have been since the beginning of this year.

• I see a therapist every other week. We are evaluating different possibilities of the root of my high anxiety issues & panic attacks as well as my scatterbrained-ness and overall mental health. I want to be able to have a plan of attack that is appropriate to what my brain is doing rather than guessing and worrying about it. 
• I am following the ChaLEAN Extreme 90-day Challenge. I'm following the schedule, and while I may have missed a day or workout here and there, I have been very good about giving it my all every day. I'm glad that I chose a program with workouts close to 30 minutes each day rather than over an hour. It's manageable, and I can fit that in to my schedule. It's a small commitment, but I'm seeing the results. (Dude! I have BICEPS!!!!)
• I'm taking a daily multivitamin.
• I'm drinking Shakeology every day, which I didn't quite realize until yesterday how much it has been working for me. When you drink something that filling every single morning and then you have to fast until 11 am one day, let's just say that my sweet cravings were off the charts yesterday. I wanted to eat everything in sight! I have really been loving the chocolate flavor with a healthy dash of Cayenne Pepper added to it.
• I am attending Weight Watchers meetings and tracking my intake as well as my activity. We'll see how ActiveLink works for me once I get past the assessment phase. This has been a really good change. I've been dropping pounds since starting this. It has been the impetus to cooking at the house more, drinking less beer and alcohol, and focusing on fruit, vegetables, and protein sources to fuel my workouts.
• I'm cleaning things up. I'm making places for everything. I'm getting rid of clutter. I'm removing the excess (but I'm not getting rid of my jeans. My jeans will stay in my closet forever. I think I still have maternity jeans somewhere.)

So lots of little and big changes. They are all starting to add up. I can see muscle in my body. I feel better. I feel happier. I feel less like the world is going to crash in on me. I am getting stuff done. And I am moving forward. Little changes. They make for big leaps.

~Katie

Push ups!

One great thing about this program is that I'm getting results. It's tangible. So my weight has gone up a bit. That's fine. My muscles are building! I'm feeling less acutely sore every day.

While I'm increasing the weights I use, my biggest benchmark that I can see & feel changing every day and week is my ability to do push ups. When I started 2 weeks ago, I could barely bend my elbows and push back up. I could go about halfway down before my muscles gave out. On my knees.

I'm still doing push-ups on my knees, but I could do 8-10 of the push-up + leg lifts today. And then did 3 more slow push-up at the end! This is momentous! I may be able to start challenging myself to do some full ones with my feet rather than knees as the fulcrum this week!

Yesterday, I had a bad eating day. Brewed beer with friends & had pizza then had tons of Brie at the Super Bowl party. And ice cream.

This week, I'm challenging myself to work out in the mornings and cook dinner at night. And then planning on feeding my mind as well as body with my second therapy session on Thursday. I've had to go through a whole giant questionnaire & some of the questions are really difficult to answer with just yes or no. Things aren't perfect, but they never will be. However, I'm working on being happy and combatting the lows.

~Katie

Weekender

Ugh I need to stop weighing myself. I seem to be gaining weight this weekend. But I think I'm losing inches. I've been really good about working out. And I'm feeling strong. So I'm hoping that it's just a lot of muscle building.

Because a cubic inch of muscle weighs more than a cubic inch of fat. So replacing fat with muscle will lean you down while also not budging the scale.

Two more weeks before I have my tracking day. Next weekend will be very difficult. I'm going to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. So it's going to be really hard not to indulge my hedonistic side. Guess I'm going to need to kick up the walking a notch. Talking about walking, time to head to the grocery store to grab more breakfast materials so that we're ready for our home brewing tutorial at noon.

Trying to stay with it. Weekends and evenings are difficult to stay with program foodwise.

~Katie