Changes, All the Little Changes

Before I get to the actual post, today, I slept in. So my workout will be between work and girls night. It will be Push Circuit 2, so it's 35 minutes and weightlifting-focused, so I think I can do that, shower, and walk to the restaurant in time after work today. The front room rearranging has taken a toll on my bedtime.

Okay, on to the Changes.

I've been documenting the daily stuff on here, but sometimes, I like to make a retrospective.

Today, I realized that there are a lot of little changes that have been adding in to the big changes.
And some of them aren't so little. But all of these changes have been since the beginning of this year.

• I see a therapist every other week. We are evaluating different possibilities of the root of my high anxiety issues & panic attacks as well as my scatterbrained-ness and overall mental health. I want to be able to have a plan of attack that is appropriate to what my brain is doing rather than guessing and worrying about it. 
• I am following the ChaLEAN Extreme 90-day Challenge. I'm following the schedule, and while I may have missed a day or workout here and there, I have been very good about giving it my all every day. I'm glad that I chose a program with workouts close to 30 minutes each day rather than over an hour. It's manageable, and I can fit that in to my schedule. It's a small commitment, but I'm seeing the results. (Dude! I have BICEPS!!!!)
• I'm taking a daily multivitamin.
• I'm drinking Shakeology every day, which I didn't quite realize until yesterday how much it has been working for me. When you drink something that filling every single morning and then you have to fast until 11 am one day, let's just say that my sweet cravings were off the charts yesterday. I wanted to eat everything in sight! I have really been loving the chocolate flavor with a healthy dash of Cayenne Pepper added to it.
• I am attending Weight Watchers meetings and tracking my intake as well as my activity. We'll see how ActiveLink works for me once I get past the assessment phase. This has been a really good change. I've been dropping pounds since starting this. It has been the impetus to cooking at the house more, drinking less beer and alcohol, and focusing on fruit, vegetables, and protein sources to fuel my workouts.
• I'm cleaning things up. I'm making places for everything. I'm getting rid of clutter. I'm removing the excess (but I'm not getting rid of my jeans. My jeans will stay in my closet forever. I think I still have maternity jeans somewhere.)

So lots of little and big changes. They are all starting to add up. I can see muscle in my body. I feel better. I feel happier. I feel less like the world is going to crash in on me. I am getting stuff done. And I am moving forward. Little changes. They make for big leaps.

~Katie

New add-ins

I've gotten pretty enamoureded with adding a teaspoon of Jell-O sugar free & fat free instant pudding mix to my shake. Also adding some spices. Today, I tried adding cayenne pepper in Greenberry Shakeology. Umm, yumm-o!

The touch of spice made it so tasty!

Workout will be in the evening today since I was a total lunkerhead this morning. And realized I have no bike light to go on the Brews Cruise.

~ Katie

Blender in a jar

I need more jars.
Because jars fit on blenders. And you can drink out of jars.

Step 1: add the ingredients to the jar, making sure not to fill more than 4/5ths full
Step 2: invert the blender blade & o-ring onto the jar
Step 3: screw on the blender bottom to the top of the jar
Step 4: blend
Step 5: unscrew the blender bottom & remove blade & o-ring
Step 6: enjoy!

No need to decant.
No need to wash more dishes, just the jar, o-ring, & blades!

YAY!

~Katie

Food

So.

Food.

For me, this is difficult. I love food. I also love filler.

You know, filler. It's the extra. It is not food, but you put it in your mouth, and eat it, and it tastes good. But it's not good for you?

Candy.
Cake.
Ice Cream.
BURGERS.
PIZZA.

I've been doing quite well for the past week and a half on my eating.  I've found that I really do like the food that comes from My Fit Foods. It encourages having 5 meals a day. And most meals are gluten free and have a significant ratio of protein, and always a green veggie.  I've been going for 4 meals lately. But sometimes. Sometimes, I still fall back into the old habit of stopping by the CVS after lunch and grabbing a bag of candy and pretty much hoovering the whole thing in less than an hour.

Yes. It's a horrible habit. It's stress caused and just causes more stress. But I have figured out that I do still crave my sweets and my desserts. But I don't want them to have as much influence on my waistline.

So. Planning. I've been able to stick to the plan for the mostpart.

My schedule for the past week or so has been:

7:30 am Wake up.
Get Ready.
8:30 Shakeology while headed to work
Noon: Lunch.
3 or 4 pm: Snack.
5:30 or 6 pm: Home.
15-20 minutes later: Workout.
7:30 or 8 pm: Dinner.

Sometimes I munch a protein granola bar in between getting home and working out. It depends on how I feel. I'm trying to only do that when I feel that I would not be able to complete the workout.

And then after dinner, I'll have a beer or two while reading or watching some TV with my boyfriend before bed.

Now, I've moved my workout to the mornings so that I can do events after work. These past two weeks, I've tried to keep all of my BeerSox work on the weekends, but that didn't last long. Tonight, I have a Pub night. Hopefully, I'll be able to focus on what portion of food I want and focus on meat and a bit of green veggie and maybe a small amount of starch. But can't let myself go full on burger mode.  I cheated last night with dinner because I knew it'd be easy and I'd been craving it for a couple of weeks. French Toast. There's a little bit of egg, right? But seriously, I could have made something else. I just need to plan ahead and make sure that I have the right ingredients on hand.

Food. I dream about it. I love it.
I just need to remember that I also have goals and physical fuel needs that go beyond grease & carbs.

I got jello (sugar free and fat free) to make to keep a little dessert on hand for when I want to have that something extra. I just need to make it and store it so that I grab it rather than go down to the corner store.

Right?

~Katie

A New Direction

Hi, this is me. I'm Katie.

I have gone from fit to flabby to fit again and flabby flabby flabby flabby in the past 15 years.

Exercise had always been part of my life growing up. Track & Field and basketball through middle school and high school. Sometimes working out 3 times a day to keep up with the sports. And it was always because I had to for a team. In college, I ran, and I went to the gym. Sometimes. I gained the freshman 15 easily and the summer after my freshman year, cut Snapple from my diet and started getting in a running routine again.  I lost it easily and kept it up in fits and spurts through college and maintained a pretty decent size 10 inamongst my late nights studying and blowing off steam.  Then graduate school where I was going to the gym often, finding my love of the erg machine and walking a mile with hills each day from my parking lot to the physics department. So I stayed in shape mostly.  Then came time to work. My motivation flagged. I was going through a rather deep depression and gained a bit of weight, but not too much. Started therapy and began going to the gym on a regular basis again and again, fell in love with the erg machine. Moved, changed jobs and the gym was way out of the way. But I had a neighborhood that I walked in. I walked everywhere. I slimmed down to a size 8.

Me in 2008. My goal is to be there again, just with more muscle.

This was when I started really having a social life. I finally felt like I was making friends and spending time with them. So a lot of my socializing involves eating and drinking. I transitioned to craft beer. Moved again, and started a business. So between work, settling in my home, and running a business, working out and finding the time to do anything other than grab easy food and go was difficult and I have ballooned. Surpassing any weight that I had ever been. Even while pregnant I was 20 lbs lighter than I am today. I am in the worst shape of my life. But, for the most part, I am happy. I am fulfilled. I have great friendships and am working on building my own business.  So that's where I am. My inside is still not perfectly balanced, but I'm addressing that by returning to therapy. And my physical shape is awful.

Last year, I trained and biked the MS150 and started attempting to do weigh watchers. I lost a bit of weight and was able to fit into some of my size 10 clothes well again, but I fell off the wagon when I started investing more and more time into my business. Which my business needed it. And then, then I went and I fell in love with an amazing man. And we were indulgent. No food or drink was off limits. But I gained any weight I had lost and I gained more. And I started feeling fat and sloppy and hated the way I fit into clothes. And my job has been rather stressful, so I've been stress eating when I should be doing activity to combat the stress. I started down the self-loathing path that is very dangerous for me.  So I enough. I don't want to look like this anymore and I don't want to feel like this anymore.

So I'm on a journey. I'm on a challenge. My friend Jennifer Burgess is a role model for me. She has shaped up from having twins 20 months ago and now has a 6 pack. She is a BeachBody Coach. And I have joined her February Challenge group, but started as soon as I got my materials.

So join me as I forge a new direction and carve out time for myself to be good to my body and still keep all the rest of my balls in the air.  Join me as I improve myself body, mind, and soul. So that I can love myself as much as my family and my boyfriend love me.

James & I at a friend's wedding

I have started each day with a Shakeology shake in my blenderball cup.  I am splitting between chocolate and greenberry flavors.

Chocolate is more like Chocolate/berry (either cherry or raspberry, but berry-like) and I've had it with both water plain and with coffee as the base. I like having it with the coffee as it just ups the morning wakeup factor a little bit.

Greenberry is more like banana cinnamon. REALLY. I expected greens and berries. But it's not. So don't expect it. If you like bananas (I do), then this will be great for you. It's like a spiced banana bread in a cup. I haven't tried it with anything other than water, yet. I'm thinking about brewing some green tea to use as a base in the mornings. Some suggest orange juice, but I'm trying to cut out the sugars in the juice.

The workout program I'm using

For fitness, I'm following the ChaLEAN Extreme workout regime and am just on my first week, so today is my first of the Burn Intervals and AB Burner workouts.  I am a lunkerhead. I sleep until the last possible minute, so for the moment, I'm working out in the evening, after work. But I am missing out on a lot of activities by doing this. I'm being kind to myself by first transitioning to the working out 5 days a week. Next week, I start kicking it to the morning before I leave for work. Which means that I need to wake up 2 hours earlier than usual. 10-15 minutes for water & changing, 30-45 minutes for working out (though the Burn Intervals is 45 minutes alone, so with the AB Burner, it's longer), 10 minutes to cool down, 20 minute shower, 30 minutes for getting ready.

Right now, I'm only minimally changing the way I eat. I'm getting lunch and snack at My Fit Foods and trying to focus on eating dinners that have a high protein ratio (a lot less pizza), and have so far been maintaining keeping my alcoholic drinks per night to 2 or less (I've overindulged a couple nights this January).  I'm in the craft beer business, so no, I won't be giving that up. I need to stay knowledgable and connected to the scene. This change in lifestyle has to be gradual.

Stats
Weight: 181 lbs
Pushups: almost able to do 1 on my knees. Seriously. I can go halfway down and then up.
Lower Body Weights: 9 lbs
Upper Body Weights: 5 lbs
Back Weights: 9 lbs

Scary Images!

Yes, this is me. I need to retake my before photos in front of something that's white instead of my beige wall.

Keeping Strong,
Katie